HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Every year I celebrate my birthday on 12/4. Yeah, it's fun to noe that u'll get older and older each year.. n people always remind us bout that when they wish HAPPY BIRTHDAY.. But there is something that I am sad about... U know, when ur birthday is coming, ur frens might prepare something for ya..like present, birthday party, or maybe prank. But me, I dun really have a lot of frens, just a few...maybe not more than 10..Sure i got a lot of people I know in school and around me, but they r not fren...Wat i mean fren is a true frens...It's really hard to find them these days....I got 1 best fren, but she moved to another state...I felt lost..

But wat i wanted to say today is just a piece of my inner voice...I saw somebody's FB acc, he/she celebrated his/her birthday a few days a go...I'm quite jealous with him/her.. His/her fren celebrated him/her, his/her GF/BF trying so hard to get him/her a present... But me, I just got a very quick wish that i cant even hear it, and some of them forget about it and some, knew about it but just pretended not to noe,dun even wanna wish,I got a hug from some frens, but it's because i wished them on their wall..Anyway, im happy about that hug...Im sure, if there is no FB and me, who promoting my birthday(pathetic rite?). There will be NOBODY remember my birthday...Except my family and my best fren Solehah,

I just wonder, wat's wrong with me? y isit so hard for me to get frens...somebody that are crazy, understanding and just a true frens, somebody that can make my day? A new student,( 5 years ago) can get the best of frens...they celebrated Raya together...My house? even i invited them, they just ignore it..:( eventhough my house just 5 min from their fren's house...Sometime (or maybe always) I felt like, i just like melukut di tepi gantang u know..menempek myself to others.Try to be part of them..But still, Im just like an alien...Being ignored, left behind(or maybe i left them behind,coz they walk really slow).I really want to hv frens that can share secrets with me, not to be somebody, who wait at the other side seeing my frens whispered each other about something that i dun even noe...U know wat, since i was small untill 2today, 17 years old..i really wanted my classmate to sing a birthday song for me....(OK I'M CHILDISH, BUT I DUN CARE!!!) and i never get it...:(

This doesn't mean i'am ungrateful person...I just wanna tell my feelings...My jealousy towards other's birthday and frens...and my sad feeling (mix together with the jealousy)

The conclusion is, if u have frens, appreciate them as much as u can...show them ur love...Make a lot of frens.Dun find enemies.. like pepatah said 1000 frens, is not enough and, 1 enemy is too much..

And for me, still searching for frens i ever dream off..(hope i found them one day)

P/s: this is just my feeling..my inner voice, sorry if somebody terasa about wat i said...IT'S JUST MY INNER VOICE..(it forcing me to shout it out here...)

Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AQILAH!!